A saw a meme last week that reminded me of something that fully resonated with me when I was training.
'Meet the child where they are, not where you expect them to be'
And I love this.
Whilst training I believe my teacher worded it as 'meet the child where they are at, don't make them come to you', or something to that effect - but the message is clear.
We are not here to thrust expectations onto children.
By enabling them to be, just where they are, will give them the confidence to feel worthy, acknowledged and bloom into fully rounded adults.
Now I appreciate that if a child id having anger issues, or throwing a tantrum that may result in injury either to themselves or you, it is difficult to stand back, however the language we use is VITAL!!
There are no 'shoulds' when talking to children. They need to be heard and accepted.
Keeping them safe, but also listening to them, and not on a surface level - ' yes I shall put my phone down while you talk' - but a fully open hearted, listening, with every sense. Your eyes, your body, your skin - really listen to a child.
Nothing they feel r experience is wrong and their is no emotion should ever be irrelevant.
Listen to them, meet them where they are and allow the relationship to grow from there.
Let them open up to you as and when they feel happy to, you need to be the strong support and
comfort to them, readily available and ready with a non judgmental ear.
They don't always want your advice or require 'fixing', they often just need to be heard.